Our kitchen table is one of the first things you see when you walk into our house. It was my grandmother’s dining room set, beautiful dark wood and green fabric high-backed chairs. They remind me of her, and I love that I can see and use them every day. With its centralized location and large surface area, the table is a tremendously convenient place to pile mail, bills, papers that need attention, wallets, pocket knives, eye glasses, cell phones, and empty gum wrappers. I’m not entirely sure how piles multiply like fruit flies on wood surfaces, but they do. It stresses me out, and so I have declared the kitchen table to be a Clutter Free Zone. I have designated boxes, in other rooms, for cell phones, wallets, etc, and also for papers, bills, etc. I have asked that they be utilized. Many times. Out of all the living space we have, the table is 24 square feet. That leaves *does math quickly in her head* quite a lot of space for all the clutter that previously landed on the table. If you don’t like my designated places, go find your own. It’s your clutter. I know transitions are gradual and new skills take time to perfect (especially for us older folks), so I’ve tried to be patient and extend grace (sometimes through gritted teeth). The boys and I do pretty well with this new plan. The main battle is with my husband. Unfortunately for us both, it’s a battle I am losing. My reactions to the continuance of kitchen table clutter vary from slightly-annoyed-so-I-nicely-place-the-offending-items-where-they-are-supposed-to-go, to hell-bent-on-destroying-every-item-within-the-area-that-is-not-mine. It’s a respect issue to me. I have asked that something stop happening. I have provided alternatives that are neither difficult to find nor use. I have been patient and extended grace when mess ups happen (although I have been known to be quite vocal about it). Several nights ago, as I was planning my next tirade, a tiny question entered my even tinier mind. Is there any way I’ve been disrespectful, where he has asked me to do something and I’ve not done it? That’s when I felt the 2x12 gouge my cornea (metaphorically speaking, of course). Guilty as charged. I hate when that happens. My husband has asked for us to go to bed earlier. Repeatedly. As in, over a few years’ time. Believe me, I have tried. For some reason my brain capacity, creativity, and energy level seem to surge about 9:30pm, and all of the things I haven’t thought of or done the rest of the day take on a sense of urgency. Shutting them off has proven more difficult than I imagined. I won’t go into all the ways I’ve tried to deal and failed. I could offer them but they’re still excuses. He has asked, I have attempted, but I have largely given up. Speck in his eye: 1 Plank in my eye: 0 So to that end, I can’t complain about address the table until I first address a consistently earlier bedtime. Because *grumbleundermybreath* that’s what love does. So I am, once again, taking steps to get to bed earlier. I’ve learned about the Night Shift feature on my phone, which I’ve told to turn off the stimulating blue backlight at 9pm. I’m changing my self-talk, telling my brain that as the phone’s blue light shuts off at 9pm, so does my brain. If there’s something I need to look up after that, I write a note about it instead of googling it. I’m walking the plank, if you will (see what I did there?). It’s a process, I know, but the past three nights we have gotten to bed earlier, though to varying degrees. I’m focusing on progress, not perfection. I’m being gentle but firm with myself while I make this transition, because honestly we both need a LOT more sleep. And after the bedtime situation is adequately under control, I will turn my attention, gently but firmly, back to the Battle of Kitchen Table. I think my grandmother would be pleased. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
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Evil wears many faces. Some obvious, others insidious. There are different types and calibers. Evil is layered, like the varying veins of sediment in a cliff face. Cries of “this must be stopped” and “be the change you wish to see in the world” abound. But the evil that happened in Charlottesville, and millions of other places every day, will not be stopped by change alone. It’s not about politics, it’s about people. It’s not about legislation or not allowing people to behave in certain ways. It’s not about behavior at all, but the reasons behind it. There will not be change until we stop defining Who and What and deal with Why. A Myriad of beliefs make up Why. Whatever we tell ourselves, in our hearts, day in and day out, becomes what we believe to be true. Evil in equals Evil out. We cannot change the beliefs or replace the evil in anyone else’s heart. We can only change our own, replacing Evil with Love, and take that Love to the world. God’s people must lead the way. Who should understand Love better and deeper than followers of Jesus? We acknowledge the depth of our hypocrisy and seek continual transformation from the One who died of Love for us. If the church is not God’s Love to the world, if we don’t call out “send me,” if we don’t advance in Love from home to neighborhood to nation, then Evil wins. The cliffs stand, bold and strong, and Evil remains entrenched. It will require water, and lots of it, to break them down. It’s time for the church to rise. It’s time to move. It’s time to be the Water. Make Charlottesville the turning point. God’s people must be His Love in waves of good actions to crumble the cliffs of Evil. What Can We Do? Be the Waves When waves crash into cliffs time and time again, the cliffs start to get cracks and crevices. The cliffs lose sediment, bit by bit, slowly weakening and eventually crumbling. Jesus didn’t die so we would believe or behave “correctly.” He died so we would share His Life and Love with others. Without Love we have nothing, can do nothing, are nothing. Love is broader, more varied, and far more powerful than warm fuzzies or romance. We must love deeply, unconditionally, with purpose. We must do everything in love -- every single thing. God’s people must band together to be Love Waves, crashing into the cliffs of Evil again, again, again. Work With the Wind Waves are formed when wind blows. The wind transfers its energy to the water, and the water carries it. The greater the speed, duration, and distance, the larger and more powerful the waves. Waves of Love must be energized with the Wind of the Holy Spirit. Get in God’s Word every day – deeply and open-mindedly. Ponder it when you lie down and get up, in the shower and the car, dinner table and conference table, chapters, songs, and prayers. Drink it down, memorize it, and let it flow from your mind, heart, and tongue. Let the Holy Spirit teach you. Let that Still, Small Voice that says, “This is the way. Walk in it,” transform you. Let the Holy Spirit Wind move you where, when, and how He needs you to go. Focus Forward Toward the Cliffs When the currents flow in one direction and the waves follow, they circulate through the ocean. But when differing currents collide they form whirlpools and waves move in circles rather than forward. The Church has lost its direction, its current. We have become whirlpools, churning against ourselves rather than storming the cliffs. We must focus forward with Love instead of around in jealousy and judgment. How to Be Waves It’s much easier to keep the sediment in the cliff than it is to force it out. But each time the waves hit the cliffs they shake and loosen tiny fragments of sediment and wash them away. While daily change appears imperceptible, over time the effects become clear. It’s much easier to keep a negative mindset in place than to force it out. But each time Love hits, it shakes and loosens tiny fragments of evil and washes them away. We may not perceive daily progress, but over time it will be revealed. For every negative comment you hear, it takes six positive ones to cancel it out. Based on this principle, for every negative, evil action we must give back six positive, loving ones, just to cancel it out its effects. That’s why we must aim higher, choosing a larger ratio to make the change. God’s people as Love Waves must give and do according to a 7:1 ratio, seven acts of love for every one act of evil. To be even more effective we need 8:1, 10:1, 100:1. What does this look like? Find the need. Discover the pain. Notice the evil. Then mow its lawn. Take a meal. Pay the bill. This will not be easy. Your loving actions will be misunderstood, rejected, thwarted. You will make sacrifices. Pain and blood are certainties. But nothing else will bring the change we seek. Love on people. Serve them. Be creative about it. Tell them your Why. And do it seven more times. Better yet, do it with seven or more of your friends. Only then will we turn the tide. #lovewaves #bethelove #loveinaction #turnthetide #dontbethechangebethelove Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Do you hear that phrase as often as I do? We all believe change is needed but no one agrees on which things, much less how best to do it. Demands for change inhabit every area of life, from macro issues like business, education, and politics (oy vey the politics) to micro issues like snowflake children, helicopter parents, even which way toilet paper should roll. Hatred, fear, and arrogance blanket the majority of interactions in social and other media. Exchange of ideas becomes exchange of insults. It’s open season on anyone with a differing opinion. Be the Change You Wish to See has become Make Them Be the Change I Wish to See. Being the Change is simply not working. It can’t. Change involves modifying behavior, performing a different action to obtain a different result. We define Who or What is the problem, and How, When, and Where to change. But unless we go deeper--to the Why--then the Who, What, Where, When, and How are pointless. When change gets messy and complicated and you become tired and discouraged, the Why will keep you going. Not all Whys can create positive change. Negative Whys include Fear, Envy, Hatred, Arrogance, Greed. Adding negatives cannot equal a positive (thank you, sixth grade math class). Negative Whys cannot create positive change. Compassion is a positive Why. So are Peace, Trust, Kindness, Loyalty. If you want positive change, start with those. Better yet, there is one Why that is even deeper and more powerful than any other, positive or negative. Love. Love is patient, kind, content, humble, respectful, generous, gentle, forgiving. (Paul the Apostle, para.) Love is the greatest thing. (also Paul, para.) Think about what kinds of change Love will produce. That is change I wish to see. If we move in Love, Change will follow. There is no other possibility. Don’t Be the Change. Be the Love. (In my next posts I’ll begin to share How, and Who) #bethelove #dontbethechangebethelove |
Applying nature's principles and systems to personal and cultural development.About CommentsI love to read comments and know how my work is helping you. Please respond with your first AND last names. Anonymous comments will not be read and may be deleted.
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