Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay I was on my way to a wedding when I first pressed Play on my new Audible book. By the time I got to the venue an hour and a half later my mind was exploding. I vividly recall sliding into the pew next to my friend and saying, “If everyone would read this book and actually do what it said, it would change the world.”
That book was Brene Brown’s Braving the Wilderness. Audible had been featuring it in my recommended list for weeks and I finally was able to dig in. Brene’s wisdom and how to’s on building trust, belonging, and connection are more than sorely needed in this season. I’m clearly not the only one who thinks so as it’s a New York Times Bestseller. As soon as I finished it, I wanted to dive back in. I also knew I needed some time to process and let my little gray cells connect all the dots. I was out of Audible credits so I pulled up a book I’d already read, Greg McKeown’s Essentialism, another NYT Bestseller. I love listening to his wonderful British accent, but I especially love his message: How to find your Point of Highest Contribution and structure your life to do it and nothing else. I learn something new each time I dig in. I was about two-thirds of the way through when lightning struck the cranium, dots began to connect, and a rabbit hole emerged. What if we took Brene Brown’s message and married it to Greg McKeown’s methodology? What if we made belonging and connection our relational points of highest contribution, and structured our lives to make them all but automatic? That would change the world. I didn’t just follow the rabbit down this hole, I dove, and the world I discovered is far more amazing than Alice’s Wonderland could ever dream of being. One of my discoveries is that the reason Braving the Wilderness and Essentialism are best sellers is because belonging, connection, and contribution are deep human needs. And the reason these needs resonate so deeply in us is because they are echoes of the fundamental principles, the essential truths, of way things work in Nature. You see, everything in Nature belongs. There is nothing extra, no holes, no waste. Everything has a purpose and a place. Everything in Nature is connected. From the smallest, simplest of systems to large and complex ecosystems to the whole of life on earth, every part influences some other part. It all works together. Everything in Nature has a contribution to make. Every part receives from the system and contributes back to it, each in its own unique way. If you’ve ever seen Disney’s The Lion King (either the original 1994 animated version or the 2019 live action) you’ve seen the scene where King Mufasa is showing his son, Simba, the kingdom that will one day be his. He gives this guidance: Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect the creatures, from the crawling ant, to the leaping antelope. Simba: But Dad, don’t we eat the antelope? Mufasa: Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass, and so we are all connected in the great circle of life. “All connected in the great circle of life.” Let’s ponder that a moment. Human beings are part of the circle of life, although we focus more on being the top of the food chain than part of the circle. Both aspects are true, but our emphasis on one over the other has skewed our sense of self-importance. If we would stop looking from above it all to within it all, from focusing on our narrow pedestal to paying attention to the whole system, we would be able to see the fundamental truths of ourselves in relation to all of Nature, and we would rediscover some amazing things we’ve forgotten. We belong. We are connected. We have unique contributions to make. It doesn’t matter if we feel like we do or not, if we see it or not. The fact is we do, we are, and we do, because that’s the way things work on planet Earth. Belonging, connection, and contribution are the default. Any other option is impossible. That’s the Truth. But wait, there’s more. Human beings have something no other part of Nature has: the ability to choose. No other life form has that dignity, or responsibility. The way it looks to me, humans have been choosing our own nature versus all of nature for a long time. Embrace these truths. Pursue belonging, connection, and contribution, not only with your fellow humans, but in the context of all of Nature, all of Life. Then find out where, how, and when. Where are all the places I belong? How can I best be connected? What is my unique contribution, or contributions? Perhaps most importantly, when can I get started finding out? It can be right now. It can be a year from now. It can be never. It’s your choice. Pursuing these truths of Nature will challenge and grow you in more ways than you can know right now. It’s a journey. Simple, but not easy. Process, not quick fix. Why not start now? Pay attention. Ponder. Pursue. Then let me know how it’s going and how I can help. It’s not only Brene Brown and Greg McKeown who can make unique contributions that are changing the world. You can, too.
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I have pads of Post It notes stationed all over the house: several place in kitchen, my night stand, my bathroom, even my car. With so many things going on, creative ideas popping up whenever they feel like it, and my memory being what it is, they are as necessary to my survival as caffeine. The problem is when I have a Post It but not a pen. Or worse, when I have a crappy pen. When I wrote my children’s book a couple of years ago I found a good pen for signing, one that writes smoothly and doesn’t smudge. I bought a box. I liked them so much more than the pens I had been buying, and especially better than most of the ones you receive as advertising. I became a bit of a pen snob. My thoughts were too important, and my handwriting too atrocious, to struggle with crappy pens. So I strategically positioned my preferred pens around the house, where I could find them but my family could not (What’s that? I’m selfish? Sometimes). Slowly though, my pens migrated all over the house, and not by me. Worse, I’m finding crappy pens in their place. Perhaps it shouldn’t be, but it’s really aggravating. You may be reading this and thinking, “Does she seriously think I CARE about her PEN PREFERENCES?” Stick with me, I do have a (ball)point. Here’s the usual scenario: Get brilliant idea. Find Post It pads where I leave them. Start to pick up good pen but it’s not to be found. Wonder where my good pens are as I search through the pile of crappy ones until I dig up a good one, IF one is there. Finally settle for a crappy pen. Start to write down brilliant idea. Stare at Post It. Blink eyes. Rattle brain. Fume at myself for losing the brilliant idea while searching for a good pen. So, I have heretofore banned all crappy pens from my kingdom and domain. Except the ones my husband loves, and those seem to stay in his office. How he does that is beyond me. I bought two boxes of my favorite pens and the crappy pens have been donated to a worthy cause. Do I feel kind of silly? Truthfully, yes. But I consider it an investment in myself. Crappy pens mean lost ideas and sanity. Good pens mean I keep both. Whatever it takes to help me focus. And that’s really the bottom line for me. Why waste my extremely limited time and energy being frustrated by something I can easily and cheaply remedy? Even low level frustration makes me more likely to snap at my family, or at least grumble and complain. Frustration makes it harder to love well. Loving well is worth a few extra bucks for good pens. And reaching for a good pen keeps me from reaching for a sword. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
I know the article’s title was supposed to grab my attention, and it definitely did. I was incensed! I scanned through article to start planning my response. Since I retain what I read off of paper better than on screen, I printed it and set it aside to read in depth later. “They will pay for writing this, oh yes they will,” I mumbled under my breath. And then, life happened, as it always does. And it was late the next day before I could get back to it. When I finally sat down with it I was ready for combat. But, as I began to read the first paragraph, a thought went through my head--“Is this worth it?” “Is this worth it? OF COURSE it is! THEY need to know how wrong THEY are! There is a whole other side to the story THEY are not considering!” But as fired up as I still was, the more I thought about it, I had to decide that it really wasn’t worth it. By the time I read the article, considered a response, wrote it, edited it, then checked back again and again to see if anyone had commented further on this atrocity, it would have cost far more in terms of time and energy spent than I was really willing to put into it--time and energy that could be spent on things that are far more important to me, like my family, or writing the things I’m truly called to write about. As I’ve read other places, you don’t have to show up to every battle you’re invited to. You especially don’t have to if they don’t fit your purpose or passion. I’m not saying that responding to the article would have been a bad thing. It’s good to discuss and speak the truth in love (although, admittedly, love wasn’t my primary motivation here). But why choose what’s good when I can choose what’s better? Let those who share this purpose and passion fight this battle, because if I’m fighting their battle, I’m not fighting my own. Are they going to fight my battles for me? I’m thinking, ummm…no. And that’s what Love does: It focuses on what’s important here and now. Instead of spending the evening crafting the perfect response, my youngest son and I crafted a perfect time together, which involved chicken strips, movies, and milkshakes--all of which are tons better than aggravating articles. No one who scrolled the article’s comments would have missed mine, but my son and I would have missed an opportunity together. So the next time I see an incensing headline I will wonder if that is incense worth burning. Maybe I’ll even save myself some ink and printer paper. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
I highly recommend a book called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown. I’m listening to it for the second time, but probably not the last. Not only is it immensely helpful but it’s read by the author himself, who is British and has the cool accent. McKeown says, “Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less, either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.” I’ve greatly considered what my highest point of contribution would be. I’ve come to the conclusion that outside of loving on my family and friends, my highest contribution is communicating through writing and speaking. This is my calling, and what I can best offer the world with my one and only life. In order to maximize my highest contribution, I must minimize, even eliminate, other things that are not essential. This Saturday, my church is hosting its annual Great Giveaway. Church members and attenders gather used clothing and household items and give them away to the local community. Between those who donate items, sort them, carry them into the building, display them, work the tables, make and serve lunch, give haircuts, take family photos, and provide information for other local service providers, there are a LOT of people involved in this act of love to the community. Outside of donating some items, I have never worked this event. The same is true for many other church events. I have felt a little guilty about that. But not anymore. There are many servants in my congregation. To my knowledge I am the only working writer. Those servants love with their hearts and hands at events like the Great Giveaway. I love with my heart and hands through my keyboard with skits, movies, children’s books, blog posts. It’s all love, it just looks different for each one. And, essentially, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Now if I could just type with a cool British accent. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
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Applying nature's principles and systems to personal and cultural development.About CommentsI love to read comments and know how my work is helping you. Please respond with your first AND last names. Anonymous comments will not be read and may be deleted.
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