“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:11,12) Those words were written by a man named Paul who was imprisoned in Rome—living in a house but not allowed to leave, chained to a guard 24/7. Content whatever the circumstances? How is that even a category? What was his secret? “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) Imprisoned but free. Think about that. Paul was a man. A regular guy. If contentment and freedom like that were available to him, it’s available to us. I believe it’s not only through Christ’s Spirit that Paul was able to be free, but by Christ’s example. Who lived a life with more freedom than Jesus? He didn’t care what people thought of him, didn’t compare himself to anyone, wasn’t distracted by the massive number of people who came to him for healing, owned nothing and felt no need to. He took time off to rest even though he only had three years to train twelve guys to change the world. He succumbed to no pressure, and couldn’t be bought. No one could hold anything over him because he was free from everything that would trip the rest of us up. He focused only on the things that really mattered—his identity as the beloved son and being led by the Spirit, never taking his eyes off his mission. If you were free from, what would you be free to? You would be free to be the strongest, boldest, gentlest, kindest, most loving, present in the moment, most fearless, focused, truest version of yourself. Free to live with fearless liberty, free to pursue a life few ever find. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
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What if you could live your life and not care what anyone thinks? What if you weren’t distracted and discouraged by the drama, fear-mongering, societal pressure, and financial burdens that are so much a part of our lives? What if there wasn’t anything anyone could do that could ruin your mood or your day? If you could live your life this way, that would be freedom. Freedom is not “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” You may know your inalienable rights but the rights to truly being free may be alien to you. It’s not defined by external circumstances. Freedom is an internal condition. It’s not only freedom to, as in, do whatever you want, wherever, whenever, and however. It’s also freedom from. Freedom from is deeper and more powerful. It’s something no one can take from you. Not until you are free from can you be free to. Let’s say you win millions and millions of dollars in the lottery. Your first thought might be, “WHOO-HOO! I can quit my awful job, and have and do all the things I’ve always wanted to!” It’s true, you do have the financial freedom now to make those kinds of choices. But then, you have friends and family expecting you to cough up money for them and the government expecting you to fill their coffers. Your employer and co-workers expect your resignation, and society expects you to be resigned to volunteer for everything because they think Louie Armstrong is running “all the time in the world” in your head on a loop. Expectations. Responsibilities, real or imagined. Societal pressure. What if you lose it all? What if you lose your friends? What about maintaining, storing and insuring all the stuff you buy? You may end up more imprisoned in your life than you were before you won the lottery. But if you also have the ability to say “no” to all those requests, you would be freer. If you have the capacity to shut out the “shoulds” from your friends and family, that would be freeing. If you could take that great trip you always wanted to and not be distracted by what everyone thinks about you, what you might be missing or fearing that it could all be gone tomorrow, then you could be freer. Freedom is a state of mind. Come with me and we’ll find the road to that state. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
In grade school I had some good friendships, although none of my friends seemed to like each other. I tended to do things one on one with each of them. I always thought having a group of friends would be fun, it just didn’t happen. Then came high school. Most of my grade school friends went to a different high school, so I was starting over. On the first day of classes a few of us girls had problems with our schedules. We sat together while the administrators worked it out and got to talking. We became friends. A few others joined us and suddenly I belonged to a group. It was fantastic, just as I thought it would be. But about a year later, the unofficial leader of the group decided I got on her nerves. The rest of the group decided the same thing. Nearly instantly I was out. Sadness followed shock as my world collapsed. Here I was, starting over again. But honestly, it turned out to be a terrific thing. Long story short I was able to reacquaint myself with some of my grade school friends (plus a dear few others) and they are still in my life today. It’s because of them that I discovered my love of theatre and desire to work backstage, which changed my life completely. I forgave those who tossed me out, even to the point of wishing them well in their lives. I learned that if I held on to that pain it would interfere with my peace, love, and life, and I had no intention of allowing anyone that kind of control over me. Forgiveness freed me from the pain of their betrayal. I moved on and have continued to form good friendships throughout adulthood. But some wounds aren’t healed by forgiveness alone. Decades later I spent the day shopping with a new friend, one of those amazing people you don’t stop talking to from the moment you get together until the moment you HAVE to go. Somewhere in the conversation that day I absentmindedly said that I was better taken in small doses, good for a while but not too much all at once. We parted ways and I didn’t think anything more about it. A few days later she called me. She was bothered by my comment. She said she didn’t know why I thought that, but she disagreed. That sent me into soul searcher mode. Where HAD I gotten that idea? I realized it was from the group’s betrayal. But while forgiveness healed the pain, it couldn’t heal the scar. When they had said I got on their nerves, I believed them. I hadn’t questioned, I simply internalized. And I extrapolated that since I got on their nerves, I probably got on everyone’s nerves. But that’s a lie. Now hear me out, I KNOW I can get on peoples’ nerves. My husband and sons can testify to that. EVERYONE gets on peoples’ nerves at some point or other. But does that mean I get on EVERYONE’S nerves? Absolutely not. I began to see that believing this lie damaged my other friendships. If I sensed friends were losing interest I would pull away in self-protection. I saw that rather than pulling away from a potential problem, I could press in and communicate. If there was a problem we could try to work it out. If not, so much the better. My friend loved me enough to address the lie and speak the truth, which brought healing to the old scar. They say the truth hurts, and they are right. But the truth also heals. Makes me wonder what other lies I have believed. What lies have you believed? #bethelove #forgivenessandtruth #loverejoiceswiththetruth #truthheals Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
I needed a new attitude with this person really badly. I didn’t know if it was them, me, hormones, or the heat wave. I did know that if my heart continued down the road it was on, it would be devastating to our friendship.
I did something I don’t make a huge practice of but has worked for me some in the past. I prayed for guidance, took a deep breath, and opened my Bible at random. Oh dear. Seriously? First Corinthians 13. AKA The Love Chapter. *facepalm* *sigh* Yes, yes, Love above all. Love is patient and kind; not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered; keeps no record of wrongs; doesn’t delight in evil; always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres; and never fails. The greatest thing is love. I got it. *sigh* My friend is patient with me, and kind…not rude or self-seeking….does keep a record of wrongs but doesn’t delight in evil. My friend does protect, sometimes trusts, maybe hopes, maybe perseveres a little. “How about you?” Me? I’m awesome at loving this person! I’m patient and kind…most of the time. Okay, maybe I’ve slacked off in that a little. I’m not envious, boastful or proud, except, maybe, when I’m right. I’m not rude. Well, there was that one time. But other than that… I’m not sure I like where this is going. “You do still love that person. You’ve just forgotten how. Their love for you is as imperfect as yours is for them. Love that they try. Notice the little things. You are called to be a messenger of My Love. You need to know how to do it and do it well. It will make all the difference. Go and ponder My Love today and I will handle everything else.” Okay. Love my friend as well as I can and always try to love better. Hmmm. I wonder what the chances are that they’ve read First Corinthians 13 lately… Never mind. I’m nothing if not loyal. If you mess with my family or friends, you will feel my wrath long before I enter the room.
If what you do to them is unintentional, that’s one thing. But if you mess with them and you know better, especially if you profess to love Jesus, then you will REALLY wish you hadn’t. I have some friends who have been treated unethically, immorally, potentially illegally, and definitely unchristianly by people who love Jesus and do know better. My friends and their families have suffered greatly from these actions. I. Am. BEYOND. FURIOUS. Just ask those close to me. Unfortunately, the situation goes past my friends personally and into the organization they are all attached to. It has suffered from this and it will only get worse. I realize that asking for the heads of these people on platters is more than a little excessive. I admit that I am biased, and while I don’t have ALL of the facts, I do have a great many. Honestly, give me five minutes with all those involved and I can right all wrongs. It’s a good thing I am not God. One deep concern is what will happen to the organization in the long run. What if it doesn’t survive the damage? Would God allow these actions to cause its death? My thought is that quite possibly, yes He could. It saddens me to even write that. But I have to remember that God is more interested in the hearts of the people than the organization itself. Not only my friends’ hearts, or their families’, but the people who are causing the damage, too. God allows institutions, even countries and cultures, to be damaged or even destroyed by those who refuse to turn their hearts to Him, even if they are His own people. God is willing to let them fall away if it means getting closer to our hearts. Not only our hearts, but “theirs” as well. Because as much as I’d like to see these people as my friends’ enemies (and therefore my own), they aren’t. Our battles are not against other people, but against the actions of The Enemy using other people. I have to remember that my God is their God, too. While people must be held accountable and bear the consequences of their actions (myself included), God requires us to love, offer mercy, and extend grace and forgiveness, in the hopes of reconciliation with God’s people, and God Himself. I have to take my desire for justice out of my Momma Bear paws and put it in His hands and leave it there. My wisdom is foolishness compared to His. I have to be patient and loving, trust His way and timing, and know that no matter what happens with the organization, He will use it for good and His glory. Sometimes the Momma Bear has to growl and bear it. #bethelove --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe. My gut was telling me but my head wasn’t quite sure. Finally something they said flipped the switch, and I knew what I had to do. I unfriended, blocked, and under my breath wished them well in the sham of a life they were living, bless their hearts.
I’m getting better at recognizing false friends, also known as manipulators, users, those with ulterior motives. It hurts when someone you believed was your friend really wasn’t. And of course it drags up memories of other friendships that have been lost or didn’t work out, for whatever reason. I’m not too bad about setting boundaries while in a friendship, it’s afterward that I need to work on--the rehashing, the what ifs, the wondering what I did wrong, the whole nine. A large part of my purpose is to love the people God puts in front of me. Sometimes He isn’t the one who brings them, but I don’t usually know that until later. And while the wounds begin to heal into scars I remind myself of two things:
I remember hearing about a woman who had been left blind after an attack. Later she was asked if she resented the person who did this to her. “No,” she said. “He had one night of my life. He will never have another minute.” I have decided that bad things, dicey situations, and awful people will come into my life, but the effects of their behavior will be momentary at best. No one gets to control my mind, heart, and future but God and me. It’s not always easy to do, but I have a little thing that helps. It’s called forgiveness. It frees me from their control. Forgiveness is not saying that what they did is okay or that it didn’t hurt. It’s not a wall I put up to block future pain, or a force field that deflects it. It’s more of a sponge. Forgiveness absorbs the pain, the betrayal, the questions. Then I take it to God and ask Him to rinse it with His love. And when the pain is rinsed away and wrung out--sometimes quickly, sometimes over time--it makes room for healing, and freedom. Which makes for a whole lot better future than continuing to “bless their hearts” under my breath. #bethelove #forgiveness #fakefriends ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please subscribe. |
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