 Flickr/علي الحسين Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow I love the image that verse brings up. The crackle and hiss of the fire, a warm cup of coffee or cocoa, pensive eyes reflecting the dancing flames…It doesn’t matter if it’s in a real fireplace, on a TV screen, or even outside at a bonfire, the existence of a roaring fire invites, really all but demands, rest and reflection. The song’s verse implies that this moment of fireside repose is spontaneous, unplanned, thanks to a clear schedule and well-timed snow fall. Unfortunately, those moments are few and far between in my life, and I’m thinking probably yours as well. For me, moments of rest and reflection are almost never spontaneous. On a good day they have to be purposefully planned and protectively executed. On a bad day they have to be fought for and conquered. At the end of every year I ask God for a word or phrase as a theme for the upcoming year. For 2019 my word is Provide. Not that I will provide, but that He will. This implies that I will need…something. Probably many somethings. I don’t like to need, so I have a feeling there may be a low level of chronic discomfort coming my way as I wrestle with laying down my self-sufficiency and allowing needs to be met by others. I do know that one thing I need to provide myself is daily time of reflection. Late last year, in a light bulb moment, I realized part of the reason I can’t shut my brain off while trying to fall asleep is that I don’t give it time to process during the day. When I don’t slow down earlier, I pay for it later. And the next day, too. Mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical health require rest and reflection. And so, I am creating the habit of taking 5-10 minutes each evening, no matter how late it is, to sit in my favorite chair to pause, and look, and listen, and record a few thoughts about the day in my One Line a Day journal. Thanks to modern technology and the interwebs there may even be a crackling fire in the background, through a YouTube video on my phone. The bottom line is even without frightful weather, a cozy fire, or a clear schedule, provide yourself a moment of reflection whenever you can, however you can. ---------- It doesn’t show signs of stopping, and I’ve bought some corn for popping The lights are turned way down low, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow When you think of dim lights and popcorn, I’m going to guess your next thought is the same as mine – movies! I’ve been married to a farmer for 29 years now. One thing about farmers is they tend to be more News, Markets, and Weather Channel people than HBO, AMC, and Hallmark. I didn’t grow up in a big movie watching family either, so my husband and I didn’t really begin seriously watching movies until our oldest son, Matt, was born in 1998. We christened it our Disney/Pixar phase and have enjoyed it immensely. Many of our family in-jokes are based on lines and scenes from those animated movies. We were just about to begin introducing Matt to Big Boy movies—you know them as live action--when his younger brother, Nathan, came along. So, for family movie night we had to continue watching animated movies longer than he’d have liked. We tried watching a family movie and then, after Nathan went to bed, popping in a Big Boy movie, but only managed to pull that off twice. Matt’s now away at college and we are beginning to watch with Nathan the movies we would have shown Matt. He does admit to being a little bitter. Nathan is okay with this. A couple of weeks ago Nathan watched It’s a Wonderful Life for the first time (he says he enjoyed it but didn’t really get it). We are watching the Harry Potter movies as he reads the books. I’m looking forward to seeing the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies with him, and eventually sharing those ‘80s films his dad and I grew up on. But it really took attempting to write a screenplay and working with film makers to get me personally into really watching movies. I have a running list of movies I should see, and ones I’d like to see. Early last year I wanted to watch Roman Holiday, with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. I was fairly certain I was the only one in my family who had any interest in this movie. It has been my habit that if no one else wanted to watch a movie I wanted to see, I watched in the bedroom so as to leave the living room TV open to news and video game enthusiasts. This time, however, I rebelled. Darned if I didn’t pop that movie into the good DVD player, fire up the surround sound, and watch it all by myself in the big living room and leave the rest of the house to the rest of the family. Before the final credits rolled, two of the three other people in my house asked who I was and what I had done with Mom. I was okay with that. I will continue to be okay with that. So long Disney/Pixar, it’s Debbie time. ---------- When we finally kiss goodnight, how I’ll hate going out in the storm But if you really hold me tight, all the way home I’ll be warm My brain runs in a constant state of three steps ahead. I’m forever forward-thinking, anticipating, looking for what’s coming. This is great for planning and organizing, caring for my family and friends, but makes it difficult to be really present in the moment. We encounter the world through our five senses. I’ve found that, for myself anyway, my sense of smell takes me backward. Smells trigger memories. Cologne, dirt, and baby powder bring up images and emotions from my past. The sense of taste is connected to smell, and is both past (I’ve enjoyed this taste before) and present (and I still enjoy it now). No wonder I love eating… The sense of sight is present but also forward, future. We check a map, scan our schedule, peer down the road. Sight is about where we are now with a nod to where we are going. Sound really encompasses past and present for me, but in a cerebral, ethereal way. Whether it’s the hum of the refrigerator, music from the radio, or loved ones’ voices, sounds originate outside ourselves and come to us to be internalized. The sense of touch, though…nothing brings you back to the present like touch. If I’m cold, it’s difficult to focus on anything else. I can close my eyes and ears, a virus can stuff up my nose and mess up my taste and smell, but touch is always there. Whether it’s a searing pain as you step on a Lego in bare feet or burn your finger on a hot pan, a bruising ache as you stub your toe, an itch in the middle of your back that you just cannot get to, a warm hug or gentle caress, a touch has the power to stop time. Perhaps that’s part of the reason I love hugs. A touch brings you back to the present when your head seems forever stuck in the future. ---------- The fire is slowly dying, and my dear we’re still goodbyeing But as long as you love me so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow Thank you for joining me in a little snowy repose.
1 Comment
 Photo Credit: Pexels Paul passed away. I didn’t go to his funeral.
It would have been awkward. You see, I never met Paul, never spoke to him. I only know him because he was a dear friend of my friend, Lisa. We had been praying for his healing for months. He had been doing well, and we didn’t see this coming. We were both devastated. After he died, she told me, “We were part of this. This is what God let us see. We were witnesses.” Witnesses. That word resonated with me. To witness is to look upon, look into. It’s active, not passive, not a glance or a gaze, but really seeing. It’s focusing, paying attention. A witness has a level of intimacy that a bystander or observer do not. A witness is an insider, privy to births and deaths, birthdays and anniversaries, to milestones great and small, public and private, mundane and quiet. A witness in a trial testifies, under oath, that their part of the larger story is the truth as best they know it, as honestly as they can tell it. They express what they experienced--what they saw, what they heard. Nothing more. Nothing less. They don’t guess at anyone else’s part. If they do, it’s considered conjecture and dismissed. They can only relate the parts of the story they know to be true. It takes courage to bear witness, to expose part of yourself to people who may not believe you belong in the story, or who wish you didn’t. They may not believe your part of the story. They may reject it, and possibly you. But no one can take away what you see, hear, or feel. They can’t tell you what you experienced. Your witness is your own, TO own. Right here, right now, you are reading my words, and are therefore privy to my thoughts, beliefs, and life. We are connected. You can choose to be a bystander in my story, an observer, or you can choose to bear witness. You can express what you experience, what you see and hear, in this small connection point in both of our lives. Let’s not wait until a funeral to embrace it.  Courtesy of Pixabay My family moved from Chicago to Washington DC when I was fifteen.
At the time I mostly mourned the loss of friendships. I missed my grandparents and extended family as well, but the friendships were more immediate. We made annual trips back but, of course, it wasn’t the same. Eight years later my grandfather died. At his funeral I realized how much closer my cousins, who had always lived nearby, still were to Nana and Pa. I was suddenly acutely aware of the loss the physical distance had created. Even if we moved back I couldn’t make up those years. I felt a double loss, both the past and future ripped away from me. It used to be that families stayed with the farm, in the town, at least close proximity. Kids grew up with cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, neighborhood friends and families. Lifelong connections were the norm. In our mobile society, though, we are missing those. To fill that void we’ve come to rely more and more on peer friendships for those close, core connections. The problem is that those connections are horizontal. Our friends tend to be mostly people in our own age group or life stage (career, young kids, retired), or who share our personal beliefs in areas such as religion and politics. We need to be sure we have both horizontal and vertical connections. A vertical connection would be anyone who is younger or older, in a different life stage, different religious/political/socioeconomic status, significantly different from you in some way. There are three types of core connections you need—people behind you, beside you, and before you. 1. Peers and those with similar ideologies would be people beside you. 2. People behind you include children, mentees, students, anyone you have more experience than or can help. 3. People before you would be parents and grandparents, mentors, coaches, bosses, people with age and experience (they do tend to go together). They can be people who are where we want to be five or ten years from now in wisdom, career, relationship, etc. They can be people of differing religious, political, socioeconomic backgrounds. Here’s a hint: the more uncomfortable the thought of a conversation with them makes you feel, the better a connection they can be. So schedule a time and get together. Buy them coffee or lunch. Plan an activity. Do it face to face if you can at all, and ear to ear if you have to. If you’re not sure where to find those people, keep your eyes, ears, and heart open. Pay attention. Here are a few out of the box ideas to get you thinking not only of who to connect with, but some of the benefits: Millennials in a Retirement Home Preschool in a Nursing Home Brothers and Sisters of the Big Variety All it takes is some effort to stay connected. In this day and age, even a cross-country move doesn’t have to feel like it.  Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels Did your text message test your patience? Ever need to save face on Facebook? Twitter have you all atwitter?
Messaging is both a blessing and a curse. Personally, I love it. It’s lower pressure than talking. I can respond in my own time. I can craft the message my way, which includes proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. And most importantly, I can go back and read it when I can’t remember what was actually said. It turns out that I’m not alone. According to statistics: 1) Texting is most used data system in world 2) Texting is the most used form of communication for American adults under 50 3) 33% Americans prefer text to call 4) Here’s one that really got me: The average American spends 23 hours PER WEEK texting So, it’s not just me. The great news is that we are more connected than at any other time in history. Oddly enough though, we feel more disconnected, dissatisfied, and isolated. Is messaging to blame? Not entirely. It’s a far more complicated issue. But relying on messaging as a primary form of communication does contribute to the problem because messages are written. We rely solely on our words to relay our messages. As great as GIFs and emojis are, they don’t make up for important cues like facial expression, body language, and various qualities of voice like tone, volume, and inflection. Missed cues lead to miscommunication. We’ve all had that happen. You send a message and the reply you receive doesn’t fit what you thought you said, especially if it was in jest. If it’s not recognized and fixed it will lead to drama, stress, and potentially eating gallons of ice cream. Messaging is good for information, but if you want connection, you’ve got to talk, either by phone or in person. Arrange the conversation device to device, but have the conversation ear to ear, or face to face. I like to think of the progression alphabetically: D-E-F, Device--Ear--Face. Yes, messaging can be quicker and possibly more comfortable. Phone calls and talking in person can feel like more time and effort. Fortunately, it will be worth the trouble because you’ll have less drama, less time spent trying to fix the problems miscommunication causes, and less need to buy new clothes. Here’s what to do: take a few of those 23 hours per week we spend messaging, and call or meet up. This is especially valuable for our core connections, the people who are closest and most important to us like family, friends, mentors, etc. Try it for a week, then come back and tell us how much less time you spent muttering under your breath and how much less money you spent in the frozen food aisle.  Image Courtesty of Pixabay I took a break from writing blog posts to try videoing them. That hasn't worked as well as I'd hoped. I have much to share with you and videoing those messages took a lot more time and effort than I was expecting. SO...I"m back to writing, offering messages intended to improve your life and relationships..
In case you wonder where my "Christian" posts have gone, they're still here. God isn't left out. He's woven into every word and decision. The entire fabric is Him and speaks of Him, like all of creation. Those who wish to see will see. Those who don't will not, but their lives will still be improved. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Here we go!  Photo credit: Pixabay Autumn brings cooler temperatures, colorful leaves, and my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. No conjuring of Halloween hocus pocus, no pressure of Christmas presents, just food, family, and friends. I’m thankful for a great many things, and one of the biggest is growth. The fact that we can learn from life and share those lessons with others is one of my favorite things about being human. The connection of one heart and mind to another is one of the most beautiful and profound things in life. I’m grateful for all of you who take the time and energy to read my musings here at One Light Among Many. That I can say things that affect you is a privilege and responsibility I don’t take lightly. I want to do the best I can to give you something that leaves you better than before you stopped by here. I believe I can do a better job of it. To that end, I will be taking a brief hiatus from this blog to focus on two things: family and direction. The Christmas season is about my family, and the New Year is about direction. I’ve been listening, dreaming, learning, preparing, and have some exciting things planned for my return. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your presence in my life here, and I look forward to seeing you early in 2018. Blessings to you all, Debbie Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: Pexels I love quotes. I love personal growth. Put them together and you get these. If you know me in person, you’ve heard some of them. If you’re my kid, you’ve probably heard all of them. Choose Your Hard --Unknown It’s all potentially hard, so which hard would I rather deal with? Fold the clothes now or iron them later? Take the shower or lose friends due to stinkage? Dessert or extra workout? A little hurt now or a larger hurt later? Choose or life will choose for you. People who wonder if the glass is half-empty or half-full are missing the point. The glass is refillable –Unknown This epitomizes the Abundance Mindset, also known as, “There’s always more where that came from.” Greed and poverty come from the same Scarcity Mindset – there will never be enough. Generosity and risk-taking come from an Abundance Mindset. This is the good measure, pressed down, running over thing Jesus talked about in Luke 6. You can’t out-give God. Try it and see. WIN, or What’s Important Now? –Lou Holtz, legendary Notre Dame Football Coach. I’m much more productive thanks to this simple acronym. When confronted with several things that need to be done at once, or when tempted by distractions like Facebook, it brings instant clarity. Is Facebook important now? If so, why? At the very least it helps me act and not simply react. What Needs to Stay? – Various minimalist sources In my quest to remove Overwhelm from my life I’ve been decluttering my house, schedule, mind, and heart. Instead of asking, “What needs to go?” asking “What needs to stay?” has brought tremendous clarity to all these processes. It’s been especially powerful in working on my younger son’s bedroom, as it has transformed his mindset and made the process almost fun. When you buy the best, you only cry once. – Chinese proverb. It’s quality over quantity. Brings to mind what I call the Aggravation Factor, which falls in closely with the Choose Your Hard principle. Sacrifice for the higher quality item, or don’t and be aggravated when it doesn’t work/last/fit. If you keep trying, you are not failing. The only way you can fail is if you quit trying. If you’re still trying, even if you’re failing, you’re succeeding. –Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker This completely reframed risk-taking and failure for me. Failure is only final if you quit. FAIL = First Attempt In Learning. Fall down seven times, get up eight. This applies to everything from weight loss to raising children to achieving your dreams. Keep going and keep growing. Never try to write your best. Rewrite, each time, trying to make it better, until you can’t make it any better. – Brod Bagert Also, No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think! –Finding Forrester A friend of mine met Bagert at a library event. I checked him out on YouTube and, as a writer prone to writer’s block, I found this quote incredibly helpful. Both quotes really take the pressure off of “write your best” and help me conjure and capture my creative presence in the moment. I still struggle, but not as badly. Finally, as I was working on this post, my younger son came home from school. When I asked him about the letter I received stating that we owe a large amount of money for his school lunches, he said he would try to figure out why his lunch bills are not coming home. My reply? There is a solution to this problem, and he will find it. Do, or do not. There is no try. Thank you, Yoda. What are some of your life-changing quotes and principles? Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: Pixabay “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:11,12) Those words were written by a man named Paul who was imprisoned in Rome—living in a house but not allowed to leave, chained to a guard 24/7. Content whatever the circumstances? How is that even a category? What was his secret? “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) Imprisoned but free. Think about that. Paul was a man. A regular guy. If contentment and freedom like that were available to him, it’s available to us. I believe it’s not only through Christ’s Spirit that Paul was able to be free, but by Christ’s example. Who lived a life with more freedom than Jesus? He didn’t care what people thought of him, didn’t compare himself to anyone, wasn’t distracted by the massive number of people who came to him for healing, owned nothing and felt no need to. He took time off to rest even though he only had three years to train twelve guys to change the world. He succumbed to no pressure, and couldn’t be bought. No one could hold anything over him because he was free from everything that would trip the rest of us up. He focused only on the things that really mattered—his identity as the beloved son and being led by the Spirit, never taking his eyes off his mission. If you were free from, what would you be free to? You would be free to be the strongest, boldest, gentlest, kindest, most loving, present in the moment, most fearless, focused, truest version of yourself. Free to live with fearless liberty, free to pursue a life few ever find. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo Credit: Pixabay What if you could live your life and not care what anyone thinks? What if you weren’t distracted and discouraged by the drama, fear-mongering, societal pressure, and financial burdens that are so much a part of our lives? What if there wasn’t anything anyone could do that could ruin your mood or your day? If you could live your life this way, that would be freedom. Freedom is not “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” You may know your inalienable rights but the rights to truly being free may be alien to you. It’s not defined by external circumstances. Freedom is an internal condition. It’s not only freedom to, as in, do whatever you want, wherever, whenever, and however. It’s also freedom from. Freedom from is deeper and more powerful. It’s something no one can take from you. Not until you are free from can you be free to. Let’s say you win millions and millions of dollars in the lottery. Your first thought might be, “WHOO-HOO! I can quit my awful job, and have and do all the things I’ve always wanted to!” It’s true, you do have the financial freedom now to make those kinds of choices. But then, you have friends and family expecting you to cough up money for them and the government expecting you to fill their coffers. Your employer and co-workers expect your resignation, and society expects you to be resigned to volunteer for everything because they think Louie Armstrong is running “all the time in the world” in your head on a loop. Expectations. Responsibilities, real or imagined. Societal pressure. What if you lose it all? What if you lose your friends? What about maintaining, storing and insuring all the stuff you buy? You may end up more imprisoned in your life than you were before you won the lottery. But if you also have the ability to say “no” to all those requests, you would be freer. If you have the capacity to shut out the “shoulds” from your friends and family, that would be freeing. If you could take that great trip you always wanted to and not be distracted by what everyone thinks about you, what you might be missing or fearing that it could all be gone tomorrow, then you could be freer. Freedom is a state of mind. Come with me and we’ll find the road to that state. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: pixel2013 via Pixabay Of all the books I’ve read, these have made the biggest impact in my life. Some have even saved it. For my non-Christian readers, this list is all faith-based books. Even so, the information in them resonates far beyond religion, so don't blow them off. And not to worry, I have other lists planned which include non-faith-based ones, so stay tuned. These are books every Christian (and every person) should read. Total Forgiveness by RT Kendall No one gets out of this life unscathed. You WILL be hurt. Deeply. Profoundly. What you do with that pain determines the quality, and even quantity, of your days on this planet. Totally forgiving people is the hardest thing Christians are commanded to do, but also the most freeing. Kendall not only gives the why but most importantly, the how. Based on a thorough study of scripture inspired by his own painful experience, this book is a must read, and must do, for anyone who claims to follow Christ. Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge “Reading the Gospels without knowing the personality of Jesus is like watching television with the sound turned off.” I’ve read several of Eldredge’s books and would recommend all of them, but this one had the greatest impact on me. Christians claim to love Jesus, but we can’t really love someone we don’t really know. Eldredge shows us “Jesus with skin on” – His playfulness, fierceness, extravagance. My favorite part is when he talks about turning the water into wine. Completely eye- and heart-opening. If you read no other book on this list (except the last one), read this. Heaven by Randy Alcorn We spend more time learning about our vacation destinations than about where we will spend The Vacation to End All Vacations, eternity. Forget harps, clouds, and never-ending church services. This is beyond all we can ask or imagine. I heard Alcorn interviewed about this book and picked it up. I didn’t realize it was 473 pages (small print, not including two appendices and footnotes). Seriously, how can anyone find enough information about heaven in the Bible to write 473 pages? Alcorn does, and boy howdy, it’s well worth the time. My favorite section is entitled Will We Drink Coffee in Heaven? (I know, you’re not surprised) Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere Why were women created? To be “helpmeets?” To bear children? To be second-fiddle, second-rate men? Two books full of truth and encouragement with differing styles. Captivating gently fills your heart with identity and healing. Lioness Arising pumps your blood with purpose. Read them both, and I recommend Captivating first. Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey After infertility and severe depression, my faith came this close to flatlining. I hadn’t turned my back, but I was definitely and defiantly keeping my distance. I felt more than disappointed with God. I felt betrayed. Everyone will experience God not behaving the way we want Him to. This book saved my faith. Yancey answers “three questions no one asks aloud: Is God unfair? Is God silent? Is God hidden?” Outside of the Bible itself, this is the most important book I’ve read, and largely responsible for the person I am today. Read it. You’ll thank me. In A Class All By Itself: The Bible If you know me at all, you knew this would be number one. The thing no one tells you is that it’s best to read it cover to cover, like a novel, not picked apart like an Encyclopedia (remember those?). When read like a book you realize themes, important chronology, context, and especially the heart-rending full-on character development of God, Mankind, and our complicated roller-coaster ride from In the Beginning to the New Heaven and Earth. This is YOUR story. YOU are in this book. If you do nothing else in your entire life, read the Bible, through in a year if you can at all (and you definitely can). This is the very best thing I do. Nothing has made, or can make, such a difference, right down to your DNA. So there you go. Which have you read? Which should I have left off? Which should I add? I’d love to hear from you. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
|
Creating Courageous KindnessAbout CommentsI love to read comments and know how my work is helping you. Please respond with your first AND last names. Anonymous comments will not be read and may be deleted.
Archives
January 2019
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed