 photo credit: morguefile Our kitchen table is one of the first things you see when you walk into our house. It was my grandmother’s dining room set, beautiful dark wood and green fabric high-backed chairs. They remind me of her, and I love that I can see and use them every day. With its centralized location and large surface area, the table is a tremendously convenient place to pile mail, bills, papers that need attention, wallets, pocket knives, eye glasses, cell phones, and empty gum wrappers. I’m not entirely sure how piles multiply like fruit flies on wood surfaces, but they do. It stresses me out, and so I have declared the kitchen table to be a Clutter Free Zone. I have designated boxes, in other rooms, for cell phones, wallets, etc, and also for papers, bills, etc. I have asked that they be utilized. Many times. Out of all the living space we have, the table is 24 square feet. That leaves *does math quickly in her head* quite a lot of space for all the clutter that previously landed on the table. If you don’t like my designated places, go find your own. It’s your clutter. I know transitions are gradual and new skills take time to perfect (especially for us older folks), so I’ve tried to be patient and extend grace (sometimes through gritted teeth). The boys and I do pretty well with this new plan. The main battle is with my husband. Unfortunately for us both, it’s a battle I am losing. My reactions to the continuance of kitchen table clutter vary from slightly-annoyed-so-I-nicely-place-the-offending-items-where-they-are-supposed-to-go, to hell-bent-on-destroying-every-item-within-the-area-that-is-not-mine. It’s a respect issue to me. I have asked that something stop happening. I have provided alternatives that are neither difficult to find nor use. I have been patient and extended grace when mess ups happen (although I have been known to be quite vocal about it). Several nights ago, as I was planning my next tirade, a tiny question entered my even tinier mind. Is there any way I’ve been disrespectful, where he has asked me to do something and I’ve not done it? That’s when I felt the 2x12 gouge my cornea (metaphorically speaking, of course). Guilty as charged. I hate when that happens. My husband has asked for us to go to bed earlier. Repeatedly. As in, over a few years’ time. Believe me, I have tried. For some reason my brain capacity, creativity, and energy level seem to surge about 9:30pm, and all of the things I haven’t thought of or done the rest of the day take on a sense of urgency. Shutting them off has proven more difficult than I imagined. I won’t go into all the ways I’ve tried to deal and failed. I could offer them but they’re still excuses. He has asked, I have attempted, but I have largely given up. Speck in his eye: 1 Plank in my eye: 0 So to that end, I can’t complain about address the table until I first address a consistently earlier bedtime. Because *grumbleundermybreath* that’s what love does. So I am, once again, taking steps to get to bed earlier. I’ve learned about the Night Shift feature on my phone, which I’ve told to turn off the stimulating blue backlight at 9pm. I’m changing my self-talk, telling my brain that as the phone’s blue light shuts off at 9pm, so does my brain. If there’s something I need to look up after that, I write a note about it instead of googling it. I’m walking the plank, if you will (see what I did there?). It’s a process, I know, but the past three nights we have gotten to bed earlier, though to varying degrees. I’m focusing on progress, not perfection. I’m being gentle but firm with myself while I make this transition, because honestly we both need a LOT more sleep. And after the bedtime situation is adequately under control, I will turn my attention, gently but firmly, back to the Battle of Kitchen Table. I think my grandmother would be pleased. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
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 Photo credit: Hans via Pixabay She hadn’t eaten in days. Not that it mattered because she couldn’t keep anything down anyway. She had known she was getting worse for quite a while but kept hoping it would go away. If she just tried harder, stayed clean, but the disease kept growing. Her friends had been watching her spiral further and further down. In fact, they knew she was sick before she did. If they had still been around, she would have called them, but as soon as they saw the signs of her slipping away, they quietly turned and walked away. She needed to get to the hospital, but she was too weak to get herself there. She knew it might even be too late. Maybe they had been afraid she was contagious, at least that wouldn’t have cut so deeply. But she knew they were more afraid for their own reputations. If they continued to associate with her they would be labeled, judged, and left alone to die as she had been. They chose their “social security” over her soul. They would hear of her demise, for sure. They would drop their eyes and shake their heads, sad that it had come to this for her, but secretly they would be relieved that they didn’t catch it and were safe…for now. ----- When someone sneezes we instinctively back up. Who knows what they might have? We don’t want to catch it and risk spreading it. When someone’s illness is the result of their poor choices, especially when stigma is attached, we raise the threat level. We not only back up, we back away. We notice the warning signs. Maybe we say something to them but probably we don’t. We move back for different reasons, but for all of us, as far as we can without causing undue attention. We don’t want that nasty virus of adultery, addiction, deception. Bad reputations can be contagious. So we let our friends slip on to their own destruction. But that’s precisely when they need us to press in. No matter how inconvenient, unpleasant, or reputation-damaging it is, that’s what Love does. Let’s clarify. We don’t enable or co-depend. We do gather up, carrying the sick and dying to the hospital. We bring the wounded hearts, minds, and souls out of darkness and into Light. Sometimes we need to help clean the wound. Sometimes our prayers and presence are all it takes to motivate. But more often we are called to sit in the filth with our friends and let society’s insults and innuendos fly by. It’s not too late to make the next right decision. ----- A warmth began to fill one of her distant friends, one that slowly, lovingly, overpowered the fear. It wasn’t too late, but it was very close. Her doorway had been dark and empty the past thousand times she’d looked through it. Then it slowly cracked open, and warmth, light, and an unsure smile filled the space. As her friend gathered her up she gave a weak smile. She was going to make it after all. #loveinaction #bethelove #bethelight #makethenextrightdecision Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo Credit: bluboux via Pixabay Evil wears many faces. Some obvious, others insidious. There are different types and calibers. Evil is layered, like the varying veins of sediment in a cliff face. Cries of “this must be stopped” and “be the change you wish to see in the world” abound. But the evil that happened in Charlottesville, and millions of other places every day, will not be stopped by change alone. It’s not about politics, it’s about people. It’s not about legislation or not allowing people to behave in certain ways. It’s not about behavior at all, but the reasons behind it. There will not be change until we stop defining Who and What and deal with Why. A Myriad of beliefs make up Why. Whatever we tell ourselves, in our hearts, day in and day out, becomes what we believe to be true. Evil in equals Evil out. We cannot change the beliefs or replace the evil in anyone else’s heart. We can only change our own, replacing Evil with Love, and take that Love to the world. God’s people must lead the way. Who should understand Love better and deeper than followers of Jesus? We acknowledge the depth of our hypocrisy and seek continual transformation from the One who died of Love for us. If the church is not God’s Love to the world, if we don’t call out “send me,” if we don’t advance in Love from home to neighborhood to nation, then Evil wins. The cliffs stand, bold and strong, and Evil remains entrenched. It will require water, and lots of it, to break them down. It’s time for the church to rise. It’s time to move. It’s time to be the Water. Make Charlottesville the turning point. God’s people must be His Love in waves of good actions to crumble the cliffs of Evil. What Can We Do? Be the Waves When waves crash into cliffs time and time again, the cliffs start to get cracks and crevices. The cliffs lose sediment, bit by bit, slowly weakening and eventually crumbling. Jesus didn’t die so we would believe or behave “correctly.” He died so we would share His Life and Love with others. Without Love we have nothing, can do nothing, are nothing. Love is broader, more varied, and far more powerful than warm fuzzies or romance. We must love deeply, unconditionally, with purpose. We must do everything in love -- every single thing. God’s people must band together to be Love Waves, crashing into the cliffs of Evil again, again, again. Work With the Wind Waves are formed when wind blows. The wind transfers its energy to the water, and the water carries it. The greater the speed, duration, and distance, the larger and more powerful the waves. Waves of Love must be energized with the Wind of the Holy Spirit. Get in God’s Word every day – deeply and open-mindedly. Ponder it when you lie down and get up, in the shower and the car, dinner table and conference table, chapters, songs, and prayers. Drink it down, memorize it, and let it flow from your mind, heart, and tongue. Let the Holy Spirit teach you. Let that Still, Small Voice that says, “This is the way. Walk in it,” transform you. Let the Holy Spirit Wind move you where, when, and how He needs you to go. Focus Forward Toward the Cliffs When the currents flow in one direction and the waves follow, they circulate through the ocean. But when differing currents collide they form whirlpools and waves move in circles rather than forward. The Church has lost its direction, its current. We have become whirlpools, churning against ourselves rather than storming the cliffs. We must focus forward with Love instead of around in jealousy and judgment. How to Be Waves It’s much easier to keep the sediment in the cliff than it is to force it out. But each time the waves hit the cliffs they shake and loosen tiny fragments of sediment and wash them away. While daily change appears imperceptible, over time the effects become clear. It’s much easier to keep a negative mindset in place than to force it out. But each time Love hits, it shakes and loosens tiny fragments of evil and washes them away. We may not perceive daily progress, but over time it will be revealed. For every negative comment you hear, it takes six positive ones to cancel it out. Based on this principle, for every negative, evil action we must give back six positive, loving ones, just to cancel it out its effects. That’s why we must aim higher, choosing a larger ratio to make the change. God’s people as Love Waves must give and do according to a 7:1 ratio, seven acts of love for every one act of evil. To be even more effective we need 8:1, 10:1, 100:1. What does this look like? Find the need. Discover the pain. Notice the evil. Then mow its lawn. Take a meal. Pay the bill. This will not be easy. Your loving actions will be misunderstood, rejected, thwarted. You will make sacrifices. Pain and blood are certainties. But nothing else will bring the change we seek. Love on people. Serve them. Be creative about it. Tell them your Why. And do it seven more times. Better yet, do it with seven or more of your friends. Only then will we turn the tide. #lovewaves #bethelove #loveinaction #turnthetide #dontbethechangebethelove Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 In grade school I had some good friendships, although none of my friends seemed to like each other. I tended to do things one on one with each of them. I always thought having a group of friends would be fun, it just didn’t happen. Then came high school. Most of my grade school friends went to a different high school, so I was starting over. On the first day of classes a few of us girls had problems with our schedules. We sat together while the administrators worked it out and got to talking. We became friends. A few others joined us and suddenly I belonged to a group. It was fantastic, just as I thought it would be. But about a year later, the unofficial leader of the group decided I got on her nerves. The rest of the group decided the same thing. Nearly instantly I was out. Sadness followed shock as my world collapsed. Here I was, starting over again. But honestly, it turned out to be a terrific thing. Long story short I was able to reacquaint myself with some of my grade school friends (plus a dear few others) and they are still in my life today. It’s because of them that I discovered my love of theatre and desire to work backstage, which changed my life completely. I forgave those who tossed me out, even to the point of wishing them well in their lives. I learned that if I held on to that pain it would interfere with my peace, love, and life, and I had no intention of allowing anyone that kind of control over me. Forgiveness freed me from the pain of their betrayal. I moved on and have continued to form good friendships throughout adulthood. But some wounds aren’t healed by forgiveness alone. Decades later I spent the day shopping with a new friend, one of those amazing people you don’t stop talking to from the moment you get together until the moment you HAVE to go. Somewhere in the conversation that day I absentmindedly said that I was better taken in small doses, good for a while but not too much all at once. We parted ways and I didn’t think anything more about it. A few days later she called me. She was bothered by my comment. She said she didn’t know why I thought that, but she disagreed. That sent me into soul searcher mode. Where HAD I gotten that idea? I realized it was from the group’s betrayal. But while forgiveness healed the pain, it couldn’t heal the scar. When they had said I got on their nerves, I believed them. I hadn’t questioned, I simply internalized. And I extrapolated that since I got on their nerves, I probably got on everyone’s nerves. But that’s a lie. Now hear me out, I KNOW I can get on peoples’ nerves. My husband and sons can testify to that. EVERYONE gets on peoples’ nerves at some point or other. But does that mean I get on EVERYONE’S nerves? Absolutely not. I began to see that believing this lie damaged my other friendships. If I sensed friends were losing interest I would pull away in self-protection. I saw that rather than pulling away from a potential problem, I could press in and communicate. If there was a problem we could try to work it out. If not, so much the better. My friend loved me enough to address the lie and speak the truth, which brought healing to the old scar. They say the truth hurts, and they are right. But the truth also heals. Makes me wonder what other lies I have believed. What lies have you believed? #bethelove #forgivenessandtruth #loverejoiceswiththetruth #truthheals Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo Credit: Anna Langova via publicdomainpictures.net Off the Cliff The ground gave way underneath her and the phone fell from her hand. Caroline couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He’d lost his job?! The company simply closed its doors with no warning?! She had been out of work long enough that everything was already stretched to the limit. Outstanding medical bills and repairs to their beater of a car, and they had already driven every cent out of their bank account. They were so behind on the mortgage…this just could not be happening. Love Has a Rope Her doorbell rang. Stacy didn’t wait for a response but walked on in. “I just heard,” Stacy said. “I’m so sorry, Caroline. This is unreal.” She sat down on the floor beside Caroline and held her. “I’m here, and I’m with you through all of this. You are not alone.” Love Throws a Rope Stacy had lost everything through a divorce some years ago. She vividly remembered the day she packed her two kids, and everything she could, into her car and headed to the women’s shelter. She, herself, wasn’t in the clear yet but was definitely back on solid ground. She knew the potential uphill climb Caroline and her husband were facing and vowed she would be there in any way she was able. Stacy hadn’t known Caroline back then. Others had buoyed her, encouraging her and providing what she could not for her kids. “I don’t have any financial answers, but I do have life experience and hope. I can help navigate some of the rockier parts of this mountain. I don’t have much to offer, but what I do have is yours,” she said. Love IS the Rope Caroline pulled back from Stacy’s embrace. A strange peace seeped into her heart. “I don’t know how that helps so much, but it does,” Caroline said. Stacy stayed with her that night until her husband made it home. She put a few frozen pizzas in their freezer for when they needed them. She helped make phone calls to creditors. She looked for what was needed and provided what she could. Stacy rallied others just as others had done for her. Accepting the charity of friends and strangers was unfamiliar to Caroline. She was always the one to put money in the offering plate, not the one who needed to take it out. But she recognized that when you are falling, and someone offers, you only have to stretch out your hand and grab the rope. Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:7 #bethelove #betherope #loveinaction Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe
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Applying nature's principles and systems to personal and cultural development.About CommentsI love to read comments and know how my work is helping you. Please respond with your first AND last names. Anonymous comments will not be read and may be deleted.
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