 Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels Did your text message test your patience? Ever need to save face on Facebook? Twitter have you all atwitter?
Messaging is both a blessing and a curse. Personally, I love it. It’s lower pressure than talking. I can respond in my own time. I can craft the message my way, which includes proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. And most importantly, I can go back and read it when I can’t remember what was actually said. It turns out that I’m not alone. According to statistics: 1) Texting is most used data system in world 2) Texting is the most used form of communication for American adults under 50 3) 33% Americans prefer text to call 4) Here’s one that really got me: The average American spends 23 hours PER WEEK texting So, it’s not just me. The great news is that we are more connected than at any other time in history. Oddly enough though, we feel more disconnected, dissatisfied, and isolated. Is messaging to blame? Not entirely. It’s a far more complicated issue. But relying on messaging as a primary form of communication does contribute to the problem because messages are written. We rely solely on our words to relay our messages. As great as GIFs and emojis are, they don’t make up for important cues like facial expression, body language, and various qualities of voice like tone, volume, and inflection. Missed cues lead to miscommunication. We’ve all had that happen. You send a message and the reply you receive doesn’t fit what you thought you said, especially if it was in jest. If it’s not recognized and fixed it will lead to drama, stress, and potentially eating gallons of ice cream. Messaging is good for information, but if you want connection, you’ve got to talk, either by phone or in person. Arrange the conversation device to device, but have the conversation ear to ear, or face to face. I like to think of the progression alphabetically: D-E-F, Device--Ear--Face. Yes, messaging can be quicker and possibly more comfortable. Phone calls and talking in person can feel like more time and effort. Fortunately, it will be worth the trouble because you’ll have less drama, less time spent trying to fix the problems miscommunication causes, and less need to buy new clothes. Here’s what to do: take a few of those 23 hours per week we spend messaging, and call or meet up. This is especially valuable for our core connections, the people who are closest and most important to us like family, friends, mentors, etc. Try it for a week, then come back and tell us how much less time you spent muttering under your breath and how much less money you spent in the frozen food aisle.
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 Image Courtesty of Pixabay I took a break from writing blog posts to try videoing them. That hasn't worked as well as I'd hoped. I have much to share with you and videoing those messages took a lot more time and effort than I was expecting. SO...I"m back to writing, offering messages intended to improve your life and relationships..
In case you wonder where my "Christian" posts have gone, they're still here. God isn't left out. He's woven into every word and decision. The entire fabric is Him and speaks of Him, like all of creation. Those who wish to see will see. Those who don't will not, but their lives will still be improved. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Here we go!  Photo credit: Pixabay Autumn brings cooler temperatures, colorful leaves, and my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. No conjuring of Halloween hocus pocus, no pressure of Christmas presents, just food, family, and friends. I’m thankful for a great many things, and one of the biggest is growth. The fact that we can learn from life and share those lessons with others is one of my favorite things about being human. The connection of one heart and mind to another is one of the most beautiful and profound things in life. I’m grateful for all of you who take the time and energy to read my musings here at One Light Among Many. That I can say things that affect you is a privilege and responsibility I don’t take lightly. I want to do the best I can to give you something that leaves you better than before you stopped by here. I believe I can do a better job of it. To that end, I will be taking a brief hiatus from this blog to focus on two things: family and direction. The Christmas season is about my family, and the New Year is about direction. I’ve been listening, dreaming, learning, preparing, and have some exciting things planned for my return. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your presence in my life here, and I look forward to seeing you early in 2018. Blessings to you all, Debbie Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: Pexels I love quotes. I love personal growth. Put them together and you get these. If you know me in person, you’ve heard some of them. If you’re my kid, you’ve probably heard all of them. Choose Your Hard --Unknown It’s all potentially hard, so which hard would I rather deal with? Fold the clothes now or iron them later? Take the shower or lose friends due to stinkage? Dessert or extra workout? A little hurt now or a larger hurt later? Choose or life will choose for you. People who wonder if the glass is half-empty or half-full are missing the point. The glass is refillable –Unknown This epitomizes the Abundance Mindset, also known as, “There’s always more where that came from.” Greed and poverty come from the same Scarcity Mindset – there will never be enough. Generosity and risk-taking come from an Abundance Mindset. This is the good measure, pressed down, running over thing Jesus talked about in Luke 6. You can’t out-give God. Try it and see. WIN, or What’s Important Now? –Lou Holtz, legendary Notre Dame Football Coach. I’m much more productive thanks to this simple acronym. When confronted with several things that need to be done at once, or when tempted by distractions like Facebook, it brings instant clarity. Is Facebook important now? If so, why? At the very least it helps me act and not simply react. What Needs to Stay? – Various minimalist sources In my quest to remove Overwhelm from my life I’ve been decluttering my house, schedule, mind, and heart. Instead of asking, “What needs to go?” asking “What needs to stay?” has brought tremendous clarity to all these processes. It’s been especially powerful in working on my younger son’s bedroom, as it has transformed his mindset and made the process almost fun. When you buy the best, you only cry once. – Chinese proverb. It’s quality over quantity. Brings to mind what I call the Aggravation Factor, which falls in closely with the Choose Your Hard principle. Sacrifice for the higher quality item, or don’t and be aggravated when it doesn’t work/last/fit. If you keep trying, you are not failing. The only way you can fail is if you quit trying. If you’re still trying, even if you’re failing, you’re succeeding. –Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker This completely reframed risk-taking and failure for me. Failure is only final if you quit. FAIL = First Attempt In Learning. Fall down seven times, get up eight. This applies to everything from weight loss to raising children to achieving your dreams. Keep going and keep growing. Never try to write your best. Rewrite, each time, trying to make it better, until you can’t make it any better. – Brod Bagert Also, No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think! –Finding Forrester A friend of mine met Bagert at a library event. I checked him out on YouTube and, as a writer prone to writer’s block, I found this quote incredibly helpful. Both quotes really take the pressure off of “write your best” and help me conjure and capture my creative presence in the moment. I still struggle, but not as badly. Finally, as I was working on this post, my younger son came home from school. When I asked him about the letter I received stating that we owe a large amount of money for his school lunches, he said he would try to figure out why his lunch bills are not coming home. My reply? There is a solution to this problem, and he will find it. Do, or do not. There is no try. Thank you, Yoda. What are some of your life-changing quotes and principles? Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: Pixabay “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:11,12) Those words were written by a man named Paul who was imprisoned in Rome—living in a house but not allowed to leave, chained to a guard 24/7. Content whatever the circumstances? How is that even a category? What was his secret? “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) Imprisoned but free. Think about that. Paul was a man. A regular guy. If contentment and freedom like that were available to him, it’s available to us. I believe it’s not only through Christ’s Spirit that Paul was able to be free, but by Christ’s example. Who lived a life with more freedom than Jesus? He didn’t care what people thought of him, didn’t compare himself to anyone, wasn’t distracted by the massive number of people who came to him for healing, owned nothing and felt no need to. He took time off to rest even though he only had three years to train twelve guys to change the world. He succumbed to no pressure, and couldn’t be bought. No one could hold anything over him because he was free from everything that would trip the rest of us up. He focused only on the things that really mattered—his identity as the beloved son and being led by the Spirit, never taking his eyes off his mission. If you were free from, what would you be free to? You would be free to be the strongest, boldest, gentlest, kindest, most loving, present in the moment, most fearless, focused, truest version of yourself. Free to live with fearless liberty, free to pursue a life few ever find. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo Credit: Pixabay What if you could live your life and not care what anyone thinks? What if you weren’t distracted and discouraged by the drama, fear-mongering, societal pressure, and financial burdens that are so much a part of our lives? What if there wasn’t anything anyone could do that could ruin your mood or your day? If you could live your life this way, that would be freedom. Freedom is not “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” You may know your inalienable rights but the rights to truly being free may be alien to you. It’s not defined by external circumstances. Freedom is an internal condition. It’s not only freedom to, as in, do whatever you want, wherever, whenever, and however. It’s also freedom from. Freedom from is deeper and more powerful. It’s something no one can take from you. Not until you are free from can you be free to. Let’s say you win millions and millions of dollars in the lottery. Your first thought might be, “WHOO-HOO! I can quit my awful job, and have and do all the things I’ve always wanted to!” It’s true, you do have the financial freedom now to make those kinds of choices. But then, you have friends and family expecting you to cough up money for them and the government expecting you to fill their coffers. Your employer and co-workers expect your resignation, and society expects you to be resigned to volunteer for everything because they think Louie Armstrong is running “all the time in the world” in your head on a loop. Expectations. Responsibilities, real or imagined. Societal pressure. What if you lose it all? What if you lose your friends? What about maintaining, storing and insuring all the stuff you buy? You may end up more imprisoned in your life than you were before you won the lottery. But if you also have the ability to say “no” to all those requests, you would be freer. If you have the capacity to shut out the “shoulds” from your friends and family, that would be freeing. If you could take that great trip you always wanted to and not be distracted by what everyone thinks about you, what you might be missing or fearing that it could all be gone tomorrow, then you could be freer. Freedom is a state of mind. Come with me and we’ll find the road to that state. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: pixel2013 via Pixabay Of all the books I’ve read, these have made the biggest impact in my life. Some have even saved it. For my non-Christian readers, this list is all faith-based books. Even so, the information in them resonates far beyond religion, so don't blow them off. And not to worry, I have other lists planned which include non-faith-based ones, so stay tuned. These are books every Christian (and every person) should read. Total Forgiveness by RT Kendall No one gets out of this life unscathed. You WILL be hurt. Deeply. Profoundly. What you do with that pain determines the quality, and even quantity, of your days on this planet. Totally forgiving people is the hardest thing Christians are commanded to do, but also the most freeing. Kendall not only gives the why but most importantly, the how. Based on a thorough study of scripture inspired by his own painful experience, this book is a must read, and must do, for anyone who claims to follow Christ. Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge “Reading the Gospels without knowing the personality of Jesus is like watching television with the sound turned off.” I’ve read several of Eldredge’s books and would recommend all of them, but this one had the greatest impact on me. Christians claim to love Jesus, but we can’t really love someone we don’t really know. Eldredge shows us “Jesus with skin on” – His playfulness, fierceness, extravagance. My favorite part is when he talks about turning the water into wine. Completely eye- and heart-opening. If you read no other book on this list (except the last one), read this. Heaven by Randy Alcorn We spend more time learning about our vacation destinations than about where we will spend The Vacation to End All Vacations, eternity. Forget harps, clouds, and never-ending church services. This is beyond all we can ask or imagine. I heard Alcorn interviewed about this book and picked it up. I didn’t realize it was 473 pages (small print, not including two appendices and footnotes). Seriously, how can anyone find enough information about heaven in the Bible to write 473 pages? Alcorn does, and boy howdy, it’s well worth the time. My favorite section is entitled Will We Drink Coffee in Heaven? (I know, you’re not surprised) Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere Why were women created? To be “helpmeets?” To bear children? To be second-fiddle, second-rate men? Two books full of truth and encouragement with differing styles. Captivating gently fills your heart with identity and healing. Lioness Arising pumps your blood with purpose. Read them both, and I recommend Captivating first. Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey After infertility and severe depression, my faith came this close to flatlining. I hadn’t turned my back, but I was definitely and defiantly keeping my distance. I felt more than disappointed with God. I felt betrayed. Everyone will experience God not behaving the way we want Him to. This book saved my faith. Yancey answers “three questions no one asks aloud: Is God unfair? Is God silent? Is God hidden?” Outside of the Bible itself, this is the most important book I’ve read, and largely responsible for the person I am today. Read it. You’ll thank me. In A Class All By Itself: The Bible If you know me at all, you knew this would be number one. The thing no one tells you is that it’s best to read it cover to cover, like a novel, not picked apart like an Encyclopedia (remember those?). When read like a book you realize themes, important chronology, context, and especially the heart-rending full-on character development of God, Mankind, and our complicated roller-coaster ride from In the Beginning to the New Heaven and Earth. This is YOUR story. YOU are in this book. If you do nothing else in your entire life, read the Bible, through in a year if you can at all (and you definitely can). This is the very best thing I do. Nothing has made, or can make, such a difference, right down to your DNA. So there you go. Which have you read? Which should I have left off? Which should I add? I’d love to hear from you. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: AnnaKovalchuk via Pixabay When our older son was learning Kung Fu San Soo we bought him the original 1984 Karate Kid movie. When the scene where all of Daniel’s “training” comes together came on, I pointed it out to him. We marveled at the revelation of the blocking movements he learned, but our son said there was a lesson in the scene far more important than those blocks. “Mr. Miyagi kepts saying, ’Look eye. Always look eye,’” he said. “One of the very first things they teach you is to look your opponent in the eye, never at his hands or feet. If you focus on his hands you’ll miss his feet, and vice versa. If you focus on his eyes, you will be able to see everything you need to in your peripheral vision.” That concept resonated with me. I struggle with focus. One theme, in this season of my life, is keeping all the plates spinning. Be sure everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be, with everything they need and are fed, clothed, clean, and as mentally and emotionally stable as possible. Distraction, or even choosing which plate to focus on, is a constant struggle. Imagine the number of plates Jesus had and how focused He had to be. Without money, power, status, a college degree, social media, and with no fixed address, He had three years to turn twelve knuckleheads (as John Eldredge fondly refers to the apostles) into world-changers. His focus had to be incredible. In John 5:19 He says, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. (NIV) Later in John 12:49 He says, I don't speak on my own authority. The Father who sent me has commanded me what to say and how to say it. (NLT) Oh to be so in the moment, the flow, that you know second by second the best thing to do and say. I can picture Him walking the road from Galilee, stopping to heal blind eyes while blocking and throwing off Pharisees, raising His hands and calmly but firmly parting the angry crowd without even a roundhouse kick or a “hi-YA!” I wonder if Grand Master Jesus wore His tenth-degree black belt under His robes. With focus like that we could deeply and effectively love on those in front of us while pummeling fear, doubt, and worry. It’s certainly something to wax on. #focus #heisnotwhatyouthink #jesusninjathisiknow Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Once there was a tree…and she loved a little boy. This book has been in my life for literally decades. Always the context has been that this is what unconditional love and self-sacrifice look like. I’m not sure exactly what triggered the realization that it’s a far cry from a healthy relationship, but a quick Google search confirms I’m not the only one who thinks so. A quick synopsis: Tree and boy love each other. Tree gives herself (literally) throughout his life until she has nothing left. Boy takes from tree with nary a thank you much less a thought to tree’s well-being. See what I mean? Unhealthy at the very least. Abusive is closer to what I’m thinking. We’ve been fed this distorted view of love all this time. Yes, Love is unconditional and self-sacrificing, but it’s about far more than making someone happy, especially at the expense of your own health and well-being. It’s helping someone become all they are capable of being, knowing that when they are learning and growing in that way, happiness is a natural byproduct. And so I wondered…if The Giving Tree portrayed a healthier and more complete picture of unconditional love and self-sacrifice, what would the story be? SUMMARY TO THIS POINT: Boy and Tree love each other, but Boy wants more out of life. Tree offers her apples to sell. Boy does so, returning years later. ---------- “Hello, Boy! I am so happy to see you! Did selling my apples bring you money and happiness?” The boy stood, hands in his pockets. “It did for a while,” he admitted. “I sold the apples and bought things, and I was happy for a while, but it hasn’t lasted. I want more.” The tree wanted the boy to be happy. She knew that with his kindness, courage, perseverance, and love for nature, he could do great things, which would make him happier than more things. “Happiness comes from being who you are. When you are the most you, you are the most happy. When in your life have you been the happiest?” asked the tree. The boy thought for a long time. “Here with you, when I would climb and play and eat your apples.” The tree and the boy thought and thought until the boy’s legs and back became tired. He lay down in her shade, and fell asleep. He had a dream. He hadn’t had a good dreamy dream in a very long time. When he woke, he knew what he needed to do. The boy and the tree made a plan. The boy planted some of the tree’s seeds nearby. He fed and watered them until they became saplings. Then the boy went to the schools and talked about his friendship with the tree. He invited some of the children to help take care of the saplings. The children smiled and caught his dream. It became theirs as well. The boy and the children took care of the saplings, and finally they were large and strong. The children climbed their trunks and swung from their branches and ate apples and slept in their shade. And the tree was happy. The boy was happy. The trees and the children were happy. ---------- Love adds instead of subtracts, multiplies rather than divides. It builds. It shares. It wants what is best for all those it loves. And this truer definition of love means trees don’t become stumps and boys don’t grow into lonely old men. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
 Photo credit: Ramdlon via Pixabay I have pads of Post It notes stationed all over the house: several place in kitchen, my night stand, my bathroom, even my car. With so many things going on, creative ideas popping up whenever they feel like it, and my memory being what it is, they are as necessary to my survival as caffeine. The problem is when I have a Post It but not a pen. Or worse, when I have a crappy pen. When I wrote my children’s book a couple of years ago I found a good pen for signing, one that writes smoothly and doesn’t smudge. I bought a box. I liked them so much more than the pens I had been buying, and especially better than most of the ones you receive as advertising. I became a bit of a pen snob. My thoughts were too important, and my handwriting too atrocious, to struggle with crappy pens. So I strategically positioned my preferred pens around the house, where I could find them but my family could not (What’s that? I’m selfish? Sometimes). Slowly though, my pens migrated all over the house, and not by me. Worse, I’m finding crappy pens in their place. Perhaps it shouldn’t be, but it’s really aggravating. You may be reading this and thinking, “Does she seriously think I CARE about her PEN PREFERENCES?” Stick with me, I do have a (ball)point. Here’s the usual scenario: Get brilliant idea. Find Post It pads where I leave them. Start to pick up good pen but it’s not to be found. Wonder where my good pens are as I search through the pile of crappy ones until I dig up a good one, IF one is there. Finally settle for a crappy pen. Start to write down brilliant idea. Stare at Post It. Blink eyes. Rattle brain. Fume at myself for losing the brilliant idea while searching for a good pen. So, I have heretofore banned all crappy pens from my kingdom and domain. Except the ones my husband loves, and those seem to stay in his office. How he does that is beyond me. I bought two boxes of my favorite pens and the crappy pens have been donated to a worthy cause. Do I feel kind of silly? Truthfully, yes. But I consider it an investment in myself. Crappy pens mean lost ideas and sanity. Good pens mean I keep both. Whatever it takes to help me focus. And that’s really the bottom line for me. Why waste my extremely limited time and energy being frustrated by something I can easily and cheaply remedy? Even low level frustration makes me more likely to snap at my family, or at least grumble and complain. Frustration makes it harder to love well. Loving well is worth a few extra bucks for good pens. And reaching for a good pen keeps me from reaching for a sword. Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. If you’d like to receive these posts and updates in your inbox, please head to the Contact Page to subscribe.
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Applying nature's principles and systems to personal and cultural development.About CommentsI love to read comments and know how my work is helping you. Please respond with your first AND last names. Anonymous comments will not be read and may be deleted.
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